just tell him i said nine months
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Randomize