I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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