2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
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Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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