I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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