Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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