Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize