he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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