So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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