i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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