weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The air was thick with penises
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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