Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize