when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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