I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
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Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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