What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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