every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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