After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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