Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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