Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
please don't ironically join a cult
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