So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize