Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize