so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Girls should come with a carfax report
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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