I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize