It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
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We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
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That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize