can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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