I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
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WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
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Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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