How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
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