I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Woke up backwards on a recliner
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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