worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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