Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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