Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
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At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
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Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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