He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
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Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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