i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize