hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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