dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize