Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
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I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
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well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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