It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
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I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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