absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize