this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
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i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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