there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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