hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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