I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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