I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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