Kiss
Puke
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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