he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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