I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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