Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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