Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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