I didn't shave. On purpose
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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