that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize