in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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